Compass Introduces Revolutionary Green Power Solution
For Immediate Release
Innovative solution addresses shortcomings of competing Green Alternatives
Dallas – October 20, 2014
Compass Datacenters today announced a new method of powering its data centers that directly addresses the shortcomings of competing “green” alternatives. The newly developed system features both primary and back up modes to ensure the continuous operation of the facility. To power the data center in its primary mode, Compass is using a Perpetual Motion Machine (PMM) to generate electricity. Using only 5 acres and standing three stories high, the PMM uses the same principle as Newton’s cradle (more commonly referred to as that clacking ball thing found on desk’s the world over). The day is spent clacking away, while the night is used to restart the apparatus by handcranking the first ball back into place.
“In looking at the fervent efforts of many of our competitors to harness alternative sources of power to protect the planet, we just felt that we needed to do our part”, said Compass CEO Chris Crosby. “We are proud that we have developed a solution that not only eliminates the need for fossil fuels, but also by repurposing a concept that can be found in gift shops all over the world. Rather than having to use 50 acres or more for solar panels that literally incinerate large numbers of migratory birds, we don’t believe that we are the only ones that recoil in horror at images of flambéed finches, our massive steel balls are easy to fly around. We feel confident that the environmental community will find this a much more palatable mode of alternative power generation than the virtual aviary “funeral pyres” produced by solar panel deployments” added Crosby.
Compass has solved the issues related to cloudy days, and the total absence of sunlight during nighttime ball raising periods, through the ingenious use of gerbils and running wheel technology. Through the natural symbiosis of the repetitive motion of these diminutive mammals and a large stationary wheel, a Compass facility is able to maintain normal operations during even the most extended periods of ball raising which enables the company to continue to achieve one of its core capabilities of locating their data centers in any geographic location, including those located within the artic circle.
“We are especially proud of our gerbil wheel technology. 150,000 of these little fellas can keep that wheel spinning forever”, said Crosby. ‘It’s really quite amazing. We tried a number of smaller mammalian species like chinchillas and hamsters, we originally looked at rats but we thought they carried too much of a negative stigma, but through trial and error we determined that gerbils were the way to go. They are inexpensive, don’t eat much and possess an exemplary work ethic. Their participation also helps us address the issue of gerbil youth obesity which everyone agrees is an issue that needs to be combatted,” stated Crosby. “We believe that this all natural approach to powering data centers is the perfect melding of natural resources, species neutrality and overall efficiency that folks like Greenpeace having been begging for, and marks a new competitive direction in data center energy efficiency”.
In related news, the “Eliminate Waste to Go Green” society has awarded Compass it’s prestigious Data Center of the Year award for its effective use of land and materials as part of its industry leading environmental stewardship.
About Compass Datacenters
Compass Datacenters builds natural disaster resistant, Tier III certified, LEED Gold dedicated data centers where customers need them without forcing them to sacrifice features or performance. The patented design of its facilities make it possible for Compass Datacenters to deliver state-of-the-art solutions that enhance control and simplify capacity planning for customers anywhere in the United States, serving the vast majority of companies that are not located in the few markets where geographically-constrained data center facilities are currently concentrated.
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